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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Tweet, Tweet, Tweetledee

I realize I could just set up a Twitter feeder, however:

1) I earn microcents everytime someone visits, and those add up. (A microcent bears the image of Herbert Hoover on the obverse, with a picture of Hoover Dam on the reverse. The trickle of water released compared to the amount in Lake Mead is symbolic of the value of microcents.)

2) While I could have millions of mindless minions and a bevy of busty beauties at my beck and call, that sort of thing usually Ends Badly. Although, I would be cool enough to offer everyone Jell-O shots instead of Kool-Aid.

3) Unlike Facebook and MySpace (Hola, Ceci), no sensuous woman has "encouraged" me to set up a Twitter account.

4) Twitter does not handle pictures. Also, I like to know what the link is I'm clicking. As seen with the recent GOP URL truncator, a link can lead to a site showing chimpanzees fornicating in a vat of banana pudding. Or Sarah Palin talking about Alaska seceding from the U.S.

5) I don't need an account. I can voyeur other people's feeds when necessary.

6) I suspect Twitter does not archive remarks, or that Google searching uncovers them.

7) If I joined Twitter, the Cool Kids would mock me, causing me to wear a black trenchcoat and listen to Marilyn Manson records.

8) 140 characters... Do those 140 include foreign characters like umlauts, cedillas, and Unicode? Or does Twitter only speak Amurikin?

9) Bold, italics, color, font, size, underline, embedded links?

10) Isn't your attention worth more than 140 characters?

And so it goes...

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