Wednesday, June 10, 2009
If This Is Wednesday...
Just a quick post to let my loyal fans know I'm on vacation, heading out to Capri today, taking lots of pictures, and trying to find some exceptional Italian fumetti. (Unfortunately, I discovered a great shop in Naples, but too late to visit. Salerno is nice in that it is somewhat remote, but no stores nearby, except the journali stands.)
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Leisure
[Q|
Today, I'm lounging in Battery Park, the world's most valuable landfill. During my travels here, I used the bridge near Stuyvesant High School, and observed a tennis game being played.
I realized that the more upper class a sport is considered (tennis, golf, sailing, polo, formula one racing), the less physical activity involved. Of course, that does not mean that the hoi polloi (that's Greek for "the great unwashed) cannot also enjoy these sports. Nor that there aren't low effort sports for the masses (Bowling, for example). Perhaps the leisure activities which don't require money aren't considered sports (like watching television). Or there is little money to be made, so companies do not market the activity with special shoes, clothing, sponsorships, or paraphenalia.
Today, I'm lounging in Battery Park, the world's most valuable landfill. During my travels here, I used the bridge near Stuyvesant High School, and observed a tennis game being played.
I realized that the more upper class a sport is considered (tennis, golf, sailing, polo, formula one racing), the less physical activity involved. Of course, that does not mean that the hoi polloi (that's Greek for "the great unwashed) cannot also enjoy these sports. Nor that there aren't low effort sports for the masses (Bowling, for example). Perhaps the leisure activities which don't require money aren't considered sports (like watching television). Or there is little money to be made, so companies do not market the activity with special shoes, clothing, sponsorships, or paraphenalia.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
My Tax Dollars At Work
[Q| Last January, I was a bit miffed. To save money, New York State mailed a postcard stating that tax forms would not be mailed. Tax payers could either reproduce forms at local libraries, or download them online.
Usually, I file early, as I have extra pay withheld so I am guaranteed a refund. This year I was lazy and filed on April 15, at 6:30 PM (posted at 7:05 PM).
My federal return had a refund, but I was shocked to find that I owed New York State some $700. Oh well, thought I, I can cover it with my federal refund and change. I'll file, my refund should arrive at about the same time the state sends me a bill with a penalty, and everything will be A.O.K.
So I return home to find a letter from:
New York State Department of Taxation and Finance
OPTS - Protest Correspondence Unit - Personal Income Tax
Here's the bill, I assumed, and read it while in the bathroom. I had made three mistakes:
1) Wrong NY State tax entered.
2) Wrong NY City tax entered. (Since the 1976 bankruptcy, the State collects city taxes for NYC. Methinks it saves money.)
3) They allowed the New York City school tax credit.
End result: a refund of $182 ! Attached! Six weeks after I filed! And it arrived before the Federal refund.
The State could have said, you screwed up in our favor, we're keeping the money. Instead, they corrected my mistakes.
Guess I'll do my taxes earlier next year.
Usually, I file early, as I have extra pay withheld so I am guaranteed a refund. This year I was lazy and filed on April 15, at 6:30 PM (posted at 7:05 PM).
My federal return had a refund, but I was shocked to find that I owed New York State some $700. Oh well, thought I, I can cover it with my federal refund and change. I'll file, my refund should arrive at about the same time the state sends me a bill with a penalty, and everything will be A.O.K.
So I return home to find a letter from:
New York State Department of Taxation and Finance
OPTS - Protest Correspondence Unit - Personal Income Tax
Here's the bill, I assumed, and read it while in the bathroom. I had made three mistakes:
1) Wrong NY State tax entered.
2) Wrong NY City tax entered. (Since the 1976 bankruptcy, the State collects city taxes for NYC. Methinks it saves money.)
3) They allowed the New York City school tax credit.
End result: a refund of $182 ! Attached! Six weeks after I filed! And it arrived before the Federal refund.
The State could have said, you screwed up in our favor, we're keeping the money. Instead, they corrected my mistakes.
Guess I'll do my taxes earlier next year.
Random Thought
[Q| So I was walking by Julliard earlier, and noticed a sign saying So-and-So Drama Theater.
That got me thinking... what other kind of theaters are there besides "drama"? Comedy? Melodrama!
The Jonathan Q. Mellow Drama Theater!
---
Now I'm sitting on top of the Hudson River on a pier looking south. To my left is a line of Trump high highrises, slowly marching south towards 59th Street. In exchange for developing the shoreline into parkland, Trump gets to develop what was once railyards and shipping docks. Win-win, as the City gets parks, Trump gets to build a string of highrise luxury buildings AND use the park across the street as an amenity.
As I was crossing Riverside Boulevard to get to the park, I looked both ways for traffic (nonexistent) and noticed the line of buildings, one after the other, with a construction site at the end.
"Hmm... reminds me of Las Vegas Boulevard. They should call this 'The Strip'."
That got me thinking... what other kind of theaters are there besides "drama"? Comedy? Melodrama!
The Jonathan Q. Mellow Drama Theater!
---
Now I'm sitting on top of the Hudson River on a pier looking south. To my left is a line of Trump high highrises, slowly marching south towards 59th Street. In exchange for developing the shoreline into parkland, Trump gets to develop what was once railyards and shipping docks. Win-win, as the City gets parks, Trump gets to build a string of highrise luxury buildings AND use the park across the street as an amenity.
As I was crossing Riverside Boulevard to get to the park, I looked both ways for traffic (nonexistent) and noticed the line of buildings, one after the other, with a construction site at the end.
"Hmm... reminds me of Las Vegas Boulevard. They should call this 'The Strip'."
Someday I'll Wish Upon a Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Dreams Come True PDQ
[Q|
My mind wanders while I hum/skat/whistle/sing tunes. (My mind is an ipod.) Sometimes, I find myself starting with one song, and inexplicicately finishing with some other song.
An interesting example is Disney's signature "When You Wish Upon A Star". (Did you know that RCA once owned the rights to that song?) During the bridge, after the second verse, where the song goes "Fate is kind...", one can sing:
"Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me..."
And suddenly you find yourself in Kansas, singing "Over the Rainbow"!
Then there are songs which use the same melody. "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "The ABC Song" use the same music. (Baa Baa Black Sheep is ALMOST the same, but it scans a little differently.) Here is "Twinkle Twinkle Alphabet":
Twinkle twinkle little star
H I J K L M N O P
Up above the world so high
W X Y and Z
Twinkle twinkle ABCs
Won't you sing along with me?
If you are feeling mischievous, start singing the other song while a child is singing. Most likely they'll get confused!
My mind wanders while I hum/skat/whistle/sing tunes. (My mind is an ipod.) Sometimes, I find myself starting with one song, and inexplicicately finishing with some other song.
An interesting example is Disney's signature "When You Wish Upon A Star". (Did you know that RCA once owned the rights to that song?) During the bridge, after the second verse, where the song goes "Fate is kind...", one can sing:
"Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me..."
And suddenly you find yourself in Kansas, singing "Over the Rainbow"!
Then there are songs which use the same melody. "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "The ABC Song" use the same music. (Baa Baa Black Sheep is ALMOST the same, but it scans a little differently.) Here is "Twinkle Twinkle Alphabet":
Twinkle twinkle little star
H I J K L M N O P
Up above the world so high
W X Y and Z
Twinkle twinkle ABCs
Won't you sing along with me?
If you are feeling mischievous, start singing the other song while a child is singing. Most likely they'll get confused!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mom's Favorite Joke
[Q| In celebration of Mother's Day, one of my mother's favorite jokes. We first heard it on TV from Roy Gandolf, who was a feature reporter for ABC News during the 1984 Winter Olympics at Sarajevo.
(This is my version, improved.)
A man is walking along the Grand Concourse in the Bronx when he spots an attractive brunette leading three penguins down the street. Each penguin is wearing a Yankees jersey and baseball cap.
Curious, he asks the young lady about the penguins.
"Oh, I'm taking them to Yankee Stadium for the double header."
"What?! Yankee Stadium? Are you crazy? You gotta take those penguins to the Bronx Zoo!"
"Well, okay... "
The man watches the brunette lead her three penguins away.
A week later, the man is riding the B train downtown when he sees the same brunette in a sun dress, followed by the three penguins who are now wearing sunglasses and bikinis.
"Didn't I tell you last week to take those penguins to the Bronx Zoo?"
"Oh, yes, you did! They enjoyed it oh so much, that today we're going to Coney Island!"
There's another favorite joke about group sex at an old people's home, but I can't tell you, I'd have to show you! (Don't worry, you can keep your clothes on while I tell it.)
(This is my version, improved.)
A man is walking along the Grand Concourse in the Bronx when he spots an attractive brunette leading three penguins down the street. Each penguin is wearing a Yankees jersey and baseball cap.
Curious, he asks the young lady about the penguins.
"Oh, I'm taking them to Yankee Stadium for the double header."
"What?! Yankee Stadium? Are you crazy? You gotta take those penguins to the Bronx Zoo!"
"Well, okay... "
The man watches the brunette lead her three penguins away.
A week later, the man is riding the B train downtown when he sees the same brunette in a sun dress, followed by the three penguins who are now wearing sunglasses and bikinis.
"Didn't I tell you last week to take those penguins to the Bronx Zoo?"
"Oh, yes, you did! They enjoyed it oh so much, that today we're going to Coney Island!"
There's another favorite joke about group sex at an old people's home, but I can't tell you, I'd have to show you! (Don't worry, you can keep your clothes on while I tell it.)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
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