Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Reaction Shots: Hand Jive

  • Deaf Man Wants Happy Ending
  • Hand jive
  • This is why I watch Hentai.
  • "I only watch it for the story."
  • He better stop, or he'll be both deaf AND blind!
  • Because of my roommates, I mute the sound.
  • Cue the Bad Lipreading parodies.
  • I'd like to volunteer to do the transcriptions!
  • They tried using an AI to auto-generate subtitles. It went rogue and now earns $1 million a day running dating sites and posting to Twitter and Facebook.
  • What the hell are "subtitties"? Is that some new perversion? Or just a new name?
  • You do NOT want to know what the blind people are requesting...
  • Well, there's always Literotica...
  • I think he's going to be disappointed when he reads the captions...
  • There is a generation of dirty old men who remember spending weekend nights watching the scrambled Playboy Channel and creating their own fantasies set to the clear audio.
  • Half of the subtitles will be [moans in foreign language]. 

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Reaction Shot(gun)

  • Not so loud, everyone will want one!
  • That's strange... The Kids Meal should contain used medical syringes this month...
  • When you order the meal, it comes with bullets.
  • You should see what In-and-Out is giving away!
  • Guess which is more deadly.
  • This is what you get when you order the secret menu. (Next time, order the "Royale with special sauce"!)
  • "Do you want fries with that?"
  • Darn. My local BK only offers free wifi.
  • "I'm sorry, sir. You should have received the "Saturday Night Special".

Monday, August 17, 2020

Story prompt: Science fiction sleeper ships

So... Science fiction has that idea of sleeper ships, like in Wrath of Khan...
Sublight speed is too slow to travel between stars, stars are too distant, so you place everyone in deep sleep hibernation, and wake them up in a few hundred years.

Some possibilities occurred to me...

  • Torsten Adair Aliens find a sleeper ship, use the human cargo as a deep freeze of food.
  • Torsten Adair Ship arrives, passengers discover that humanity was eliminated by galactic government due to sociopathy. Minds are wiped, passengers exiled to quarantine planet for study, possible correction.
  • Torsten Adair Con job. Passengers were sold a dream. A hundred years later, ship returns to Earth, passengers discover utopia that was promised.
  • Torsten Adair Con job: passengers were sold a dream. Ships dispatched with bare bones tech, no specific destination. Multiple plot possibilities.
  • [REDACTED] "It's a cookbook!!"
    Write a reply...

  • Torsten Adair Old plot: Guy wakes up early on purpose, wakes up moll. Moll doublecrosses, kills guy, wakes up real lover.
  • Torsten Adair "storage locker". Ship found as salvage, aliens bid on contents, then monetize cargo.

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Reaction Shots: Octopi Candy

  • Nice work if you can get it.
  • You need me to cover your shift at the next game? No problem, Hubie.
  • His name is "Roman Gillman".
  • What are the other arms doing?
  • I see everyone is dressed for water sports.
  • "That's not my tentacle."
  • Make sure the hickeys don't show.
  • Necessity is the mother of invention of the water bed.
  • What the marching band plays during Halftime:

    (Yes, I did that on porpoise, for the halibut!)
  • It ended sadly when the eight Aquanettes left him for his mascot nemesis, Nemo the Squid.